“So Far Away”

3.26.04

Can you hear me? I feel so far away. I wish I could talk to you, it’s been all day.

The night’s too short and the day’s too long and it’s all just the same old song.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s all worth all my time and pain, but from you I can’t refrain.

But then I see your smile and suddenly it’s all worthwhile.

And that’s when I’m sure, and all my doubts are just a blur.

You’re the best I could’ve ever asked for. I could’ve searched from shore to shore,

and wouldn’t find anyone as loving and kind.

I know you’d do anything for me, whatever it may be.

Whenever I’m down, you do whatever it takes to wipe away my frown.

I know you’d never do anything to hurt me, even though we may not always agree.

All the things for me that you do, I hope you know, I’d do the same for you.

There aren’t many as sweet as you, and this I’ve found to be true.

I cannot hide how happy you make me feel inside.

Sometimes it’s not easy being so far apart, but you’ll always have my whole heart.

It’s easy to see, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

“Misunderstood”

2.7.04

There’s something wrong with me, there’s got to be.

Crying day and night, I don’t think I can stand another fight.

I feel worthless, I feel little. I’m tired of being stuck in the middle.

I’ve got nothing left to give, don’t know why I even live.

I’m hanging on with all my might, but my mind just isn’t working right.

So many thoughts runnin’ through my head, makin’ me wish I was dead.

I’m restless and scared, only wish I has someone that cared.

Drowning in my tears, fighting with my fears.

Gasping for air, this just doesn’t seem hardly fair.

There’s voices that I hear, like someone’s whispering in my ear.

I’m sinking fast, I think this breath could be my last.

I don’t feel any pain as my blood begins to drain.

As it hits the ground, my heart beings to pound.

Helpless and alone, no support or comfort I am shown.

The night won’t seem to end, there’s so many wounds that time cannot mend.

I wish I had someone to talk to, I don’t know what else to do.

I have dreams that my blood is spilling, I wake up and I’m still willing.

I’ve done all that I could, but I still feel misunderstood.

“Please Understand”

1.17.04

I didn’t do this to dis you, I really do truly miss you.

They say I don’t know how to love, that I should look to things above.

I won’t ever give up on you, our love they cannot sever.

They say I am not ready for a love this strong and steady.

They say I can’t commit, but from my mind, you I can’t omit.

I’m at their command, I must do what they say at every wave of their hand.

With you I don’t know how I will commune, and to this I don’t think I will immune.

They don’t know what I’m feeling, seems as if my wounds are never healing.

In this I don’t have a choice, I only wish I could hear your voice.

With one little fumble, my whole world begins to crumble.

There will come a day when we will finally have our way.

And when all is said and done, our new lives will have only just begun.

I wish you were right here to wipe away every single tear.

I would give anything for you, even if it meant my right to live.

I love you with all my heart, and from that I will never part.

This pain inside I cannot bear, I don’t know how to show you how much I care.

They say I’m not allowed to date, so I only hope you’ll wait.

I hope you still love me, because my love for you will always be.

Please hang on tight, I think that everything will be alright.

I see you in my dreams, but when I wake up and you’re not there, something inside me screams.

It might be awhile, but I can’t wait until I finally get to see you smile.

I think about you everyday, and always in that same special way.

Please understand, I love you