“I Wish I Could Stop Wishing”

2.8.05

It seems like all my life consists of are wishes, empty wishes, wishes that just don’t seem to be coming true. It only brings me down. I wish I didn’t have to wish.

I wish my life wasn’t like this.

I wish I wasn’t torn between two places, two so called “families.”

I wish I had somewhere to call home.

I wish I wasn’t treated like a five year old by my so called “family.”

I wish they weren’t always trying to protect me from the lessons I need to learn.

I wish I had friends, people to talk to that understood.

I wish I wasn’t stuck here.

I wish I didn’t feel trapped, caged, and chained.

I wish I could get away.

I wish I could close my eyes and just disappear, never to return again.

I wish so much that I wasn’t here anymore.

I wish I didn’t have all this pain.

I wish I could put an end to it all right now, but can’t for the sake of hurting someone else.

I wish I didn’t care so much.

I wish someone could save me from this somehow, but they can’t… I’m too far down.

I wish I didn’t have to wish.